How to really connect with someone

Last week in 'How many business cards are in that desk drawer?' I wrote about the meaningless swapping of business cards that sometimes takes place in networking.

Networking is not about swapping business cards and moving on. You need to engage in conversation first to start the relationship. Listen to more about really connecting in this podcast:

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Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
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What is important in your World?

In response to my post 'What you say is less important' Christopher Neufeld said "An excellent point, although it should take note that you need to get the other person to open up and start discussing what is important to both of you."

He is right about the need to engage with someone in order to start a conversation or get them to 'open up' as he put it. The things that really engage someone are those that are important in their world. I was speaking at a recent event for the owners of independent retail and catering businesses about generating business in the run up to Christmas. The brief was excellent because it summarised the main concerns they have right now which meant the speakers could address those immediately and engage from the start.

It's the same in a One on One or small group. To engage and start a conversation ask questions about the issues they have. It's those conversations that create the connections that start the networking process.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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What you say is less important ...

Have you ever agonised about what you are going to say to others at a networking meeting? Perhaps you have changed your mind as you listened to others. This could be in a 1 or 2 minute presentation or when someone asks the dreaded question, "what do you do?".

What you say is not the most important thing. What others say when you are not there is key. So spend less time trying to craft the perfect pitch and more time listening to others to find a connection and spark a conversation. It's during the conversation you find ways to help and demonstrate your value. People remember and talk about that far more then your initial pitch.

Success in business networking is not down to what you say about you, it's what others say. That makes what you do more important than what you say.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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Something we don't know about you

Have you ever been to a business networking event and left feeling that you didn't really get to know anyone? The conversations at business networking events can be very dull if everyone just talks about their business.

At the more 'formal' part of NRG Business Networking Events we have an aide memoire to help people introduce themselves and their business. This includes the usual business stuff - name, business, target market and ideal connections. It also invites the person to share something about themselves that we would not know in the ordinary course of business. Often this is when people come alive, smile and reveal their true nature. Especially when they talk about one of their passions.

That often is the spark for a conversation with someone and a real connection where you get to know and like each other. It's those connections that lead to follow up and a good business relationship based on trust where you become advocates. That's when networking really starts to work.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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How to start that important conversation

I enjoyed reading a recent article from Andy Lopata - "Do you Come Here Often?" The ten best (and worst) ways to start a networking conversation'.

Andy polled various people in his network for their best and worst conversation starters. "What do you do?" was one of the most popular, but Andy suggests that's the networking equivalent of "Do you come her often?". Read Andy's top ten at the link above.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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What simple tips do you have for networking?

In 'Is offline networking still relevant?' I wrote about the interview I did with Rod Sloane. After answering that question he asked if I had any simple networking tips. I answered that follow up was the big thing that makes people stand out & to be effective at follow up you need to learn to listen.

In a recent survey of first time guests at NRG networking events we found that the top three reasons for networking are:

1. More Business
2. New connections
3. Help with business issues

The most successful networkers build relationships by following up quickly and providing referrals, introductions and help to others. If you listen for where you can do the same and do it then others will do it for you.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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The Personal & Professional in Business Networking

Another question I was asked in my webcast last week on 'How to Effectively Combine Offline & Online Networking'was whether I made a distinction between personal & professional networks in the information I share.

My answer was along the lines that people buy people so it is important to share personal information in both business and personal networking.

I enjoyed reading supporting evidence on this issue in Graham Jones' blog post yesterday about the information you share on your website. In 'Find connections to increase your sales' Graham suggests "the more personal information you reveal, the more likely it is you will connect with your customers".

He goes on to say "As if we didn't know, people buy from people... start telling the world even more about yourself so they can start to truly connect with you".

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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Finding your existing contacts on Linkedin

Yesterday I wrote about adding online networking to your offline activity. Someone asked how they went about finding their existing contacts on online networks generally and Linkedin specifically. Most of the online networks allow you to add a free profile and upload details of your contacts so that you can see if they are already there.

In Linkedin you go to the contacts menu, add connections and follow the instructions from the wizard you see below:

You can find and connect with me at http://www.linkedin.com/in/daveclarke

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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The Advocacy Model: Making a Contact

In 'Business Networking: The Advocacy Model' I outlined the four steps involved.

The first is making contact or connecting. When you meet someone through networking the key factors that lead to a networking relationship are:
· do I like them?
· do I find them interesting?
· are there points of contact (business or personal)?
· do I want to take this further?

This connection may not happen the first time you meet someone. It may take time attending regular meetings to get to liking someone, finding them interesting or establishing points of contact. One of the great things about interacting with people in a regular group is that you get the time to make connections with people that you might have dismissed on the basis of a single brief meeting.

In order to address the last question you need to learn enough about the person to decide. That means having a real conversation rather than a superficial one where you just exchange business cards and move on.

When the time is right and you both decide that further exploration is worthwhile then you can move to the second stage, follow up.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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Business Networking: The Advocacy Model

I mentioned the Advocacy Model in a recent post on 'How to build trust in business relationships'. I have also made reference to the various steps in many of the recent posts so thought it worth summarising the model again here.

1. Make contact
Usually a conversation at an event or networking group meeting
2. Follow up
Often a One2One interaction or smaller group to decide whether to move forward and how.
3. Form relationships
The next stage after having done something for the other person in the follow up to help them or their business. Or when they have done that for you.
4. Develop Advocates
Provide ongoing value to the relationship by continuing to make connections and using your expertise to provide information to them. Regular feedback and thanks to the ones doing this for you.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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10 tips for building business with the effective use of offline & online networks

You could be forgiven for thinking there was a battle being fought between offline & online networks with some of the messages from organisations in both camps. The reality is that the online networks give us a really effective tool for supporting our offline business networking activities. They only do that, however, if we go about both activities strategically.

I have been an active member of online networks since I discovered them in 2003. In an article on the NRG-networks website I share my top 10 tips for building business with the effective use of offline & online networks:

1. Get comfortable with how networking works
2. Develop a plan
3. Identify the people you already know, like & trust
4. Identify the offline networks to join
5. Show a genuine interest in other people
6. Always follow up contacts
7. Identify the online networks to join and start a blog
8. Make online contacts and build relationships first
9. Arrange contact meetings
10. Develop Networking Advocates

More on each point in the article, top 10 tips for building business with the effective use of offline & online networks

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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Generating business through Linkedin

I recently reconnected with someone on Linkedin that I had done business with previously. We already knew, liked and trusted each other & are now doing business again. It has also led to us delivering some additional networking training business for business owners and professional firms.

It is worth using the Linkedin tools to find the people from your existing contacts that are already there and getting back in touch. People often forget their existing contacts when networking and I talked about this in a podcast recently, 'How to start building your network'.

The following article from the NRG Business Networking Newsletter by Will Kintish explains more about how Linkedin works;
'LinkedIn…your best online networking friend'.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | business networking podcast

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A mixture of Networking and Pro Bono

I was talking with a lawyer friend in London last week from a small firm with 2 partners. Although small their client list is very impressive. People with the money to pay well when faced with the type of legal problem my friend is a specialist in. I asked how he had built his practice and he said "a mixture of Networking and Pro Bono work".

He went on to say that he does a lot of networking with other trusted advisers to his potential and existing clients. He also said there are other people very well connected with his clients that do a lot of unpaid voluntary and charitable work. He does as much Pro Bono work as he can for these people and their organisations. His clients, their advisers and these 'volunteers' keep him very busy in well paying, profitable work for others they recommend him to.

Do your potential clients have advisers and other contacts that you should be networking and sharing your expertise with?

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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Get a Frog Kissing Radar Device

I just read a great article entitled 'Get a Frog Kissing Radar Device' from Sarah Owen of the Referral Institute in the UK.

I have written about the importance of follow up in this blog before. In Sarah's article she suggests it would be great to have a device that told us who to follow up with. In the absence of such a device she suggests some indicators to watch out for when you meet someone networking. Read the full article in the networking articles section of the NRG networks website.

I find myself asking some fairly simple questions when I meet someone.
What do you do?
Who are your typical clients?
What problem do you solve for them?
Any examples?
Who else sells to your market?
How did you get into this business?
What help are you looking for?
What contacts are you looking for?

The answers and how they answer help me to form an impression. It helps me to assess whether I like them, if there are points of contact and any interesting things to follow up.

How do you qualify a potential advocate?

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

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business networking | business networking events | virtual board

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Who else sells to your target market?

I had a couple of conversations this week where I raised this question.

In the first the person trained people interested in starting their own beauty therapy or related business. There are many college courses helping Women start in business developing links with those may be a good start.

In the second the person had a busines that halved the cost of fixed to mobile telephone calls. When I asked who else sold to his market he said everyone. I asked if it might be a good idea to focus particularly on developing relationships with others that sold complementary telecoms related products and services to his target market.

Who else sells to your target customers?

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

Where building relationships can lead

At NRG we recently surveyed our members to find out what our members got out of the NRG relationship. I was (pleasantly) surprised to find that over half our members were actively collaborating with other members.

Then one of our more mature and wordly-wise members sat me down and explained things to me.

"You make a big thing about developing relationships don't you" he said.

"Absolutely, it is fundamental to successful networking" I said.

"Well, think about it - if your members do spend time getting to know other members in depth surely you shouldn't be surprise when a lot of them want to work together, share projects, jointly go to market - in other words, collaborate!"

Silly me - why didn't I think that through!

Martin Davies
NRG Business Networks

Do you connect or just collect?

When you meet someone networking do you really take the time to engage in conversation? To really listen to what they tell you about themselves and what they do. Do you ask questions that reveal more than just business stuff? The kind that really bring the other person to life. That's the way to start a mutually beneficial business relationship.

I meet people who just collect a business card and move on. Sometimes they just give their card!

Make sure you take the time to connect and not just collect.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke
Get 7 networking secrets for business success

Follow up

I attended the launch of Business Scene at Twickenham tonight and was interviewed about my support. It's a great example of bringing different networks together. Networking is a key business development activity and networks set a great example by collaborating with and supporting each other.

Before the interview I was asked if there was one question I would like asked. I said to ask "What's the most important thing to do after the event?".

My answer was to make the time to follow up. If you regularly follow up you will be different to most of the people that regularly spend time networking. Make sure you invest your time and meet up with the people you really connect with and start building a mutually beneficial business relationship.

That is unless you only go networking to meet people once or because you collect business cards!

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke

Finding connectors

I was speaking with someone today that I had recently connected with on Facebook, an online social networking site. She said that since we connected lots of other people that she knew had found her & got in touch. Social networking sites are great for connecting and then building your visibility and reputation, an essential part of networking. They are also a great way of finding the connectors in your area. Those people with a large network that can connect you quickly to someone.

I regularly use, enjoy and recommend social networking sites like Facebook, Ecademy, Linkedin and Xing.

Good Networking!
Dave Clarke

When should I offer a 'freebie'?

I was having a 1-2-1 meeting with a new NRG member, who was in the Internet Services business. He asked me "I never know whether it's OK to offer a free traffic analysis of their website to someone I've met when networking - I'm worried they'll think me pushy and think it's a sales ploy."

My answer was that it depended on how you set the scene. I thought it was fine if you introduced the offer in the context that you were trying to increase your visibility in business, really wanted to educate people you met about what you did and the best way was to show them - hence the offer.

The key thing in business networking is to make sure the offer is without strings - none of us likes to feel beholden.

Good networking!

Martin Davies